Agri"culture"

7/19/12

Taming wild plants and forcing them to do our bidding has been one of the most decisive victories humans can claim over nature. To experience my "roots" in humanity, I have decided to try my hand in agriculture.

Living in a third story apartment building in a crowded city, I am not able to sow my seeds wherever I please, so I journeyed to Bachman's to see what they had available for a city dweller like myself to grow. On the shelf I spotted a box perfect for my needs. Inside contained a "grow from a box" mushroom farm. "But...mushrooms are not plants...they technically aren't even food".  I try my best damnit! I'll be the one laughing when you are eating your limp pasta without a bounty of mushrooms in your sauce. Also, I thought it matched my personality, being a "fun guy" already. Groan. Now, off to soak them for an hour and stare at them for 10 days until the bloom up.

The box

The goods

8/01/12

It appears there are some "rav"enous fans of this blog so I will continue to update as often as I can. Last week I was in Canada though and could not find any internet, and I looked in every tube I could find.

After my triumphant return from the third world I was amazed to find that my shroom was abloom. Right now mushy (as she will be named) looks like something that fell out of Shrek's ear, but I hope that was just because she did not get her twice daily mistings. A girl has got to stay moist ya know. Hopefully with some H2O she'll plump up. Also if you were interested in growing your own mushy's check out their website: http://backtotheroots.com. They do some good work, I always thought about wondering where my coffee grounds ended up and there are some interesting vids to check out.

Uh....

Poor dry mushy

1/08/13

Alas I am sad to report that while on my jaunt up to the algid Canadian wastes, Mushy (which I have come to call my beautiful, fungal creation) dried up more than Michael Richards career. My meager farming skills were of no help to the husk and I tossed it in the trash where if would feel more at home with other crap that didn't work. In terms of culture, well done farmers, keepers of the land and masters of plant life. Without your keen knowledge of plant seduction and infrequent trips to other countries (more of) the world would be starving. Kudos.